EILEEN TABIOS Engages
Here Comes the Sun: A Journey to Adoption in 8 Chakras by Leza Lowitz
(Stone Bridge Press, Berkeley, CA, 2015)
I’ve never forgotten Leza
Lowitz’s poetry book Yoga Poems: Lines to
Unfold By (2000) for connecting poetry to yoga and vice-versa. So I was not surprised that Lowitz also
connected her latest book, a memoir about how she came to adopt her son, to her
yoga practice. In doing so, she’s created something unique, especially as an
adoption story. Reader, I adopted a child about eight years ago and as part of
that process have read what feels like a million adoption stories—through books
(memoir and not), online, blogs, etc.
Trust me: when I say Here Comes
the Sun is a uniquely told adoption story.
That uniqueness is
presented through the book’s subtitle: A
Journey to Adoption in 8 Chakras.
Here, it’s useful to explain chakras, specifically the author’s view and
how she applied it to her story:
This is not a story about navigating the ins and outs of
adoption in a foreign country. It is about navigating the ins and outs of my
own body and spirit to heal, and to arrive at a place where motherhood could
become a possibility. I’ve taken the chakra system as a metaphor and roadmap
for personal growth and transformation, charting the movement from “me” to
“we.”
The word chakra
comes from the
Sanskrit root car “to move.” It also means “wheel,”
“circle,” “center,” “disc,” “sphere.” In this system, there are seven major
wheels of energy in the human body. The body has a central channel of subtle
energy, the sush- umna
nadi, which runs
inside the spine, and two other channels of energy running to the right of the
spine (pingala nadi) and on the left (ida nadi). Six chakras are located at the
points where these channels intersect with the central channel. The seventh
chakra is at the crown of the head. The eighth chakra is believed to be our
auric field.
Each chakra has a particular consciousness and function. It
regulates, distributes, and balances the energy and nerve functions of its location.
For example, the chakra
for the first chapter, “Muladhara” is described—each chakra is described before
the ensuing memoir—as “the center of physical and material existence, health,
survival…. When the first chakra is balanced, we feel grounded, stable, secure,
connected to our bodies and able to stand on our own two feet. We are able to
survive and thrive.” The memoir then continues
on to describe Lowitz’s days of first meeting Shogo who becomes her husband and
father of her son—a beautifully described evolution of a relationship where the
roots of healthy stability are presented, befitting the life the two would
create together.
Similarly, the eighth and
last chakra, “Soul Star,” is offered as “transpersonal chakra, that links the
soul/spirit to matter and to its true essence. The eighth chakra takes us
beyond personality-based consciousness and into higher transpersonal awareness.”
This chakra’s chapter is the last in the book and is where Lowitz can describe
concludes from the travails of her journey:
I know I’m finally free to embrace the ma, the mother within. I open my arms wide, offering up all
that I am.
As Lowitz put it in the
beginning of her book, Here Comes the Sun
is not a story about the ins or outs of adoption or the type of adoption
account that might help others interested in adoption. What makes the reader
then interested in her life is that she wrote it so well. The book is a
page-turner, with passages often lyrical and always up to the complexities and
difficulties of her topics.
I’ll end with an excerpt:
The Boy
In
December, the CGC calls about a waiting boy. They ask if we’re interested in
adopting him.
We say “yes.”
They say they’ll get back to us, but they
don’t.
We wait some more.
I ask Shogo to call
them, and he does. They say they’ve placed the child with another family. They
explain that many young couples are waiting to adopt; emphasis on the “young.”
Of course, I’m happy that the children
have found families, but this feels like too much to endure—the waiting, the
hope, the letdown—after so many years. My fierce optimism has begun to wane.
If they rank couples by age, we’re always
going to be on the top end of that scale.
I tell Shogo that I don’t want to go
through this every month and that we should apply at another agency that
doesn’t rank according to age.
He agrees. But is there such a thing? The
private agencies are expensive and take years—often without any guarantee of a
placement after a long wait and more uncertainty.
We make a promise: we’ll try to keep our
heads above water and our hearts above despair.
I try to hold onto that promise, try to
see the glass as half-full, but I haven’t heard the child’s voice for a while.
I shake out my yoga mat and go through my
practice. Arms over head, gathering up the light of the sun, bringing prana and hope back in. Bringing in light. I find
power in the Warrior Pose, stillness in balancing postures like Half-Moon. I
waver but I hold my ground. I open my heart in backbends, then stretch and I
twist. I invert, letting my world turn upside down yet again. The blood rushes
to my head, clearing my mind.
When
it comes time for Corpse Pose, a posture of deep letting go into the earth, I
lie down on the ground, arms out by my side, palms up in surrender, and I rest.
How deeply can I let go? How much more can
I surrender?
I feel the contours of my body start to
dissolve, then disappear. It’s as if I am no longer a body. There is no me.
There is no earth. Only a shimmering field of energy. I ride its waves.
After some time, I wiggle my fingers and
toes and come out of the pose. Then I sit down to meditate. I watch my breath.
And then the breath too, disappears. It’s no longer me breathing. I feel
myself, being breathed. The breath flows through me. I’m a conduit. A vessel
for this energy, this life force, this light.
This time, instead of waiting for my
child’s voice to come to me, I speak directly to my child.
Hold on,
I say, we’re coming.
*****
Eileen Tabios is the editor of Galatea Resurrects. Her 2017 poetry releases include two books, two booklets and six poetry chaps. The latter includes a new fundraising chap, MARAWI, co-authored with Albert Alejo. Forthcoming later this fall is a new poetry collection, MANHATTAN: An Archaeology (Paloma Press). She does not let her books be reviewed by Galatea Resurrects because she's its editor, but she is pleased to point you elsewhere for a recent review of her work: M. Earl Smith reviews Excavating the Filipino In Me for The FilAm Magazine! More info about her work at http://eileenrtabios.com
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